Dating And Epilepsy - How To Navigate Romance When You Have Seizures

 As I’ve mentioned many times before, epilepsy can affect every aspect of a person's life. And their love life is no exception.

Since, although people with epilepsy have equally as much of a chance for finding love as the rest of us… There's no denying that the condition will impact how they go about dating. At least to some degree. Just as anyone else’s unique life circumstances would shift their experience with dating.

So let’s talk about dating with epilepsy by answering some basic questions.

Can people with epilepsy have partners?

You might be surprised by the amount of people with epilepsy (especially younger adults) who believe they might be less likely to find love because of their condition. Some even feel that they should avoid dating altogether, in order to not be a “burden” to others!

But let me just clear that up right now… People who have epilepsy absolutely can, and absolutely should, have relationships if they want them. Epilepsy, just like any other health condition, does not define a person. It’s simply part of them. It’s one piece of the puzzle, and that shouldn’t be enough to deter anyone from dating if that’s something they want to do.

When should you tell a potential partner that you have epilepsy?

Another common question that people have in regards to dating and epilepsy, is when the person with epilepsy should disclose they have the condition. Some people think it isn’t “first date talk”, while others quite literally lead with the information. But which way is the right one?

Well, most people seem to think it’s best to share that you have epilepsy right away. So for instance, if you’re on a dating app then it could be part of your profile. Or if you’ve asked someone out (or been asked out in person), you could find a way to bring it up in conversation.

It could be a serious or casual discussion depending on you and the person you’re talking to, but just remember that it’s nothing you need to be ashamed of!

Are there safety concerns about dating with epilepsy?

Next, I want to talk about an aspect of dating with epilepsy that some people overlook… Safety! Specifically if you’re a woman, but even if you’re a man. Because the fact is, depending on the type of seizures you have, epilepsy can put you in some vulnerable situations.

• For example, if you have seizures that affect your consciousness, then the wrong person could take advantage of this if you were to have a seizure in front of them. Particularly if you’re in private when that happens.

• Or, depending on your specific type of seizure medication… an untrustworthy individual could use romance as a way to try and steal some. Since medicines like benzodiazepines (which are sometimes used to treat seizures) can actually be quite addictive.

• The danger could even come from the fact that many people with epilepsy can’t drive. Meaning that they may be more tempted to let a new romantic interest drive them somewhere, and this can be a potentially dangerous power dynamic if you don’t know the person well enough.

So how can you stay safe when dating with epilepsy?

The good news is that, if you’re aware of the potential dangers of dating as someone with epilepsy, then you can do a lot to cut down on the risks.

• You can suggest public places for meetups when you’re first getting to know someone, or even plan a double/group date with friends that you trust  if you want to feel extra safe.

• You can keep your medications locked up in a safe area that only you know about, at least until you feel like you can trust your new love interest.

• And you can make your own transportation arrangements; through public transportation, taxis or Ubers, and even asking your friends or family to drive you.

• Plus, you should always let someone in your life know about dates ahead of time so they can check in with you. Regardless of whether or not you have epilepsy. Tell them where you’re meeting up, what time the meetup starts, when it ends, and even update them alone the way to make sure they can help keep you safe.

What are the discussions you should have before starting a relationship with someone if you have epilepsy?

Finally, I want to cover some things you should probably discuss with a future partner before your relationship gets serious…

Kids -

Obviously, the subject of starting a family can be quite important to a lot of people. So if you have epilepsy, it’s important to lay out the potential implications of the condition in terms of your ability to have kids.

For men, fertility isn’t usually affected by epilepsy. And although many women with epilepsy can still get pregnant, it can obviously be a stressful process for everyone involved. And sometimes if the woman’s seizures can’t be controlled by pregnancy-safe medications, things can get even more complex.

So it’s vital that you lay everything out on the table when it comes to this topic!

Seizure Protocol -

And you’re also going to want to let your special someone know what to expect when it comes to your seizures. They’ll need to know the signs that one is coming on (if you’re someone who shows signs that is), the symptoms while the seizure is occurring, and what to expect afterwards.

But perhaps most importantly… they need to know what to do to help. Especially if you have large seizures. So be sure to teach them some seizure first aid, and let them read your personalized seizure care plan as well.

General Facts About Epilepsy -

And speaking of epilepsy education, if your potential partner is someone who doesn’t know much about the condition in general…

Then one of your early conversations should definitely include some basic knowledge about epilepsy. You could outline some talking points that you deem important. Or, if you’re feeling stumped, you could even share this article I wrote that covers ten of the most common epilepsy questions!

Conclusion 

Thank you so much for reading this article, I hope you found it helpful. And I hope it enlightened you on how, although having epilepsy can change the dating experience… it doesn’t diminish it.